A message from our President. As the Founder and long-time President of Fyreandyce Engineering Laboratories, I would extend to you our very best wishes and ask that we be able to serve you in all ways possible. While it is not possible to count the ways, it is our sincere wish that you be served. Not in the culinary sense, of course, but in meaningful ways that only Fyreandyce Engineering Laboratories can serve. And so, to all our clients, we want to ask, "Are you beoing served?"
We present the FEL Staff. We want only to serve you and help you get the job done. Along the way, you will be talking to one or more of the fine folks here at Fyreandyce Engineering Laboratories. So let's meet our key players along with some others who are merely flunkies with a title. While we in upper management don't consider tham all that worthy, we have found that without them we simply cannot survive.
Horace I. Pukki, President -- Horace is the President
and Chief Executive Officer of the organization. A right jolly old elf in spite of himself, he has a great
sense of humor and enjoys regaling clients with stories of his journey from an office boy in the mailroom
of a nationally-known corporation to his present exalted position.
Sheiza Reeley-Gudlai, Executive Assistant --
Sheiza is one of the most popular staffers in the office. While she works mainly under the
President, she enjoys serving many of the other employees as well.
Ibn Farteen, Chief Engineer --
"Stinky", as he is known in the lab, loves the wide open spaces of New Mexico. He often can be found
outside the building enjoying the fresh air. None of the employees object.
Wade Wright Onin, Staff Electrical Engineer --
Wade is one of the more impulsive guys in the lab who is willing to attack even the most perplexing
problems unintimidated by realities of the real world.
Lucas Kuhlhand, Staff Mechanical Engineer --
Luke is our machinery and tools wizard. He loves to ride horses.
He has a great collection of parking meters, too.
Ima T. Totaller, Staff Chemical Engineer --
Ima is sure to tell you how proud he is to be a Baptist Deacon on Sundays.
He tells us that he is also very supportive of his wife's involvement in the W.C.T.U.
William L. Melater, Treasurer --
Bill keeps the books and steers the organization's financial course.
His decisions regarding funding and accounts are key to our success.
Howard K. Cheatem, Accounts Receivable --
Howie is to go-to guy when you have questions regarding OUR billing statements.
He can lead you through the complex world of Receiveables as they pertain to your
Fyreandyce account.
Dewey K. Cheatem, Accounts Payable --
Howie's twin brother Dewey is to go-to guy when you have questions regarding YOUR billing statements.
He can lead you through the complex world of Payables as they pertain to our account with you.
Balzar Czhotov, Chief of Security --
Balzar took what was left of his family fortune and emigrated to the U.S. from his native Ukraine after recovering from
a horrible accident. His dream is to open a gun shop in this country. He keeps us safe in the meantime.
Burnham Goode, Office Manager --
Burnie is responsible for most of the general business stuff in the office. He does it all: computers,
office machines, furniture, telephones, time cards, heating and A/C, leaking roof, repairs, contracts,
government regulations, hiring and firing, facility visitors, ... well, you get the idea.
A. Carlotta Assoner, Assistant Office Manager --
Lotta is in charge of office operations and all that goes with that territory. Our clients rarely have
to deal with her, but office machine repairmen, salesmen, and the staff deal with her daily.
Marcia Jackelen, Director of Training and Artist in Residence --
Marcia, formerly a JHS/HS Home Economics and Science teacher, runs our various staff training programs.
Additionally, as she is also an award-winning artist who works in a number of media, she is also responsible
for producing most of the artwork needed by the project groups.
I. B. Baightenem, Operations Manager --
I.B. is in charge of many things we cannot talk about. Let's just leave it at that ...
P. U. Shadabrum, Facilities Manager --
When we need something done that deals with the facility -- the equipment, the benches, the floors --
we call on P.U. (that's what we call him). He is always behind whatever is needed.
Web Site Kudos & Complaints --
The Webmaster is some geeky old fart whose name is Bill and who is known
in many places as 'Da Curmudgeon'.
He dislikes Micro$oft, loves Unix/Linux and derivatives.
An obstreperous old geezer, he did most of the building and editing of this site with Notepad because he was
instructed to use Windoze. It shows.
He probably won't return your e-mail, either.
